Starbucks Secret Ingredient!!!BEST RECIPE EVER!!!!!

From time to time, because I am not only a Worship Pastor, but also a Culinary Expert(I know it sounds imperious but I can't think of any other terms...)I enjoy posting recipes or things that I am frequently asked about.

Today I post an extremely REVEALING post about the latest craze.... STARBUCK's OATMEAL!!!!!

That's right, after long research and hours in the kitchen I have discovered EXACTLY what Starbucks is doing to sway people into purchasing HIGH-END oatmeal. I know I may be treading dangerous legal waters by posting this TOP-SECRET recipe but I feel it is my duty to all citizens of this great planet....

So here it is.... How you can DUPLICATE PRECISELY the EXACT same methodology that is currently driving America crazy!!!!

RECIPE FOR OATMEAL.

1. Add H2o to pan(I have opted for the Elemental Chart name to avoid confusion)
2. Turn Range On(this is a culinary term for your stove, don't use it lightly)
3. Purchase Oatmeal(The FCCDA recommends doing this prior to turning on your stove)
-The FCCDA has also required me to tell you that they do not exist and that I made up those initials. I'm sure it sounds legit, but you can't trust everything you read!
4. Add Oats to Water(I cannot emphasize the importance of this step)
5. For added flavor, you can add HONEY... (Sidenote: You can attain fresh HONEY from any BEE... I'm not sure what kinds of bees actually produce it more often but for the sake of this discussion I will refer to them as "Honeybees"... I know, I know... that's probably not the right term...but trust me,, I'm sure any "honeybee" will be glad to give some to you...)

Well there it is.... Remember... like any good RECIPE.... this may take some practice to actually produce something delectable and decadent! But keep trying...
I BELIEVE IN YOU!!!

I have attached some visual aids to help those who need more inspiration than just a long set of boring instructions...

Thank You
Chef Pastor Fuller

disclaimer:this recipe is bogus and this entire blog has been made up from my imagination. I have never tried Starbucks Oatmeal because the truth is, I am intimidated by the price. Plus I can't decide if I want nuts or Brown Sugar...
But I highly recommend their fantastic espresso!!!!